THIS WEEK IN HOLLYWOOD

Clay Aiken Comes Out

What??!! Next they'll try telling us that the earth is round,
and that smoking is bad for you. It's crazy talk! NO ONE will EVER believe this.


Lindsay Lohan Confirms She Is Dating Samantha Ronson


I, for one, am shocked to learn that a female deejay who goes by Sam, dresses like
Boy George and spends all her time cuddling up to a hot young actress is gay.
I don't know about you.


Lance Bass Knew Exactly What To Wear To Celebrate This News

His fairy wings.


Christina Aguilera Says She Feels "Sexier Than Ever"
After Giving Birth

Uh, could that have anything to do with the fact that her, ahem,
chest now resembles two basketballs?

It's okay, though, she finally found a bra that will fit.

Jessica Shows Off Her Body After Baby

Because she knew I was just starting to feel good about
myself and my five pound loss.


Whoopi Goldberg Reveals Crush On John Mayer

He let her down gently, saying he prefers women with eyebrows.