Valentine's Day

This was the perfect movie to see on my Valentine's date with my husband. I know what you're thinking: duh. But I say this because the movie is so 100% about Valentine's Day, I can't say I would have liked it as much if I saw it, say, next weekend. It would somehow seem irrelevant. But maybe that's just me.

Either way, I did see it last weekend, and I did enjoy it. While it wasn't the best movie I've ever seen, it was definitely worth seeing, even if only for the all-star cast. There are no less than 20 top billed actors and one can't help feeling a little star-struck as scene after scene revealed yet another celebrity. I kept thinking "they had to have shown them all by now," and then another one that I had forgotten about would suddenly appear.

With so many stars, the movie obviously has multiple, interweaving story lines, in the vein of He's Just Not That Into You. You know, the kind where you have to keep notes throughout to remember how each person is connected. Some roles were bigger than others, with Ashton Kutcher (in a refreshingly subdued, heartfelt role) and Jennifer Garner taking the most screen time. Others (Kathy Bates?) made me wonder why they agreed to sign on for all of four lines.

In case it's not glaringly obvious, the theme of the movie is love, love and more love, examined from every angle possible. Teenage love, love that ends in heartbreak, love that began as friendship, love that endured the test of time, motherly love, new love, unconditional love, and of course, (because this is the 21st century) same-sex love.

Like Garry Marshall's other films (Pretty Woman, Runaway Bride, Princess Diaries), the best way to describe Valentine's Day is to picture a woman sighing at the end and dabbing at her mascara-streaked eyes with kleenex. He is also one of "those" movie-makers that recycles actors, something I can't decide if I like or find annoying. It's like playing Where's Waldo every time you watch one of his films, wondering where his sister will pop up, and who Hector Elizondo will play this time. (Adam Sandler would be proud.)

The movie is comical (I use that word when I'm trying to say there were a few chuckles throughout, but that the theater was spared from hearing my boisterous, let-it-all-out guffaw) and entertaining, but overall is sweet and has some great messages about fidelity, teenage sex and the true meaning of love. Oh, and the two Taylors add some great humor as a high school couple who understand love about as much as...well, a high school couple.

All in all, worth the watch, definitely, preferably with your significant other, but a gal pal would suffice. As a warning, there are MANY sexual references and scenes containing sexual content, but no actual love scenes (that I can think of!).

Movie Queen Rating: PG (pretty good)

New Moon

*WARNING* Read at your own risk if you haven't seen the movie yet (or read the book).

New Moon was pretty much exactly what I expected it to be--meaning, the parts I thought would still annoy me did, and the parts that I thought would be so much better were.

The movie was already better than its predecessor as soon as it began, with the absence of the bluish, grainy, indie filming style that Catherine Hardwicke used for Twilight. Don't get me wrong, I like those types of movies too, but I was super excited to see the more action-packed, special effect-enhanced New Moon in clean, vibrant colors, filmed the traditional way.

This is what new director Chris Weitz brought to the saga. And I loved it. I'm excited he stayed on for Eclipse too (which is also done filming, FYI). But despite the aesthetic changes to the film,
enough stayed the same so that we still had our beloved Twilight.

Like, the actors. Everyone portrayed their character exactly the same. Unfortunately this held true for Kristen Stewart. I'm sorry, but for me, personally, watching her act is the equivalent of watching cousins go out on a date--horribly awkward. Instead of crying, she breathes heavily. When she's overcome with...feelings about Edward, she breathes heavily. When she's in physical pain, she breathes heavily and screams (a scream that makes me want to cut my ears off). The interesting thing is, this isn't her acting. This is her. (Have you seen an interview with her? I've never seen someone look so uncomfortable just being...alive.) My favorite scene with her, that I actually liked her, was when she was yelling at Jacob in the rain about his hair and tattoo. Because she was yelling. And showing emotion. And looking normal. It was great.

Speaking of Jacob (cue screaming girls) I won't spend time on the obvious, i.e. smoking hot body. I will say that it made me uncomfortable when I realized I was in a room full of primarily married women over 30 or teenage girls under 18 and knew we were all thinking the same things every time they showed Jacob with his shirt off. Moving on.

What I will say about Jacob, Movie Jacob, that is, is that I. LOVE. HIM. Let it be known that I am officially and will forever be TEAM EDWARD. In my opinion, if you are basing it solely on the books, it's a no-brainer. Edward all the way. But in New Moon, I would be lying if I said I didn't think Bella was a little bit deranged for choosing a hairy-chested-sickly-looking-scrawny-in-comparison-to-the-hot-buff-werewolf vampire over, well, Jacob. I think there was actually steam coming off the screen every time it showed him. (If you don't believe me, you should have heard the teenage girls behind me. Yikes.) Taylor Lautner is an AMAZING Jacob, and single-handedly made me consider Team Switzerland. He was awesome. Funny, light-hearted, heart-breaking, emotional, and of course, the aforementioned HOT. So, yay Taylor.

But I still love me some Edward, especially Edward played by Robert Pattinson. I still think he is the perfect Edward, I still think he is gorgeous, I still swoon every time he does one of his intense, emotionally-charged scenes, the parts of the books that made me fall in love with him. (It's okay--my husband knows this. Fortunately for me he's not threatened by fictional characters.) He is still the meat of this franchise and the reason I love it. I would choose you over Jacob, Edward, I would!

However, I'm interested to learn why he looked like the true corpse that he is for most of the movie. Albeit very effective, the sickly pallor he took on after leaving Bella actually made me feel sick just looking at him (or was that my migraine? Hard to tell.) But I'm wondering if anyone informed the makeup artists that Edward is a vampire. As in, dead. As in, no blood. As in, he wouldn't look any different, no matter how broken his dormant heart is. I appreciate that he was so unable to live without her that he looked physically ill, but, come on, people, it's just not vampirely correct. Besides, he looked like death on a stick. I never dreamed I'd be wishing for the lipstick to be back.

The supporting characters were still fab. Chief Comic Relief as I fondly refer to him (aka Charlie, aka Bella's dad, aka Billy Burke) is back, witty as always. Jessica Stanley (Anna Kendrick) is even funnier this time around, if possible. My biggest laughs came from her, as well as Eric (Justin Chon) and Mike (Michael Welch). Hilarious. The Cullen clan weren't really around long enough to leave much of an impression on me, except for Jasper, who...what the heck?! It's seriously as if the director didn't think he was weird enough in the first movie, so thought that changing his wig to a mop would help cure that. Congratulations, Chris Weitz, it was a success. And did I detect a southern drawl at one point? Funny. I don't remember Jasper having a southern drawl in Twilight. (Yes, I realize his character is from the south but that still doesn't explain the sudden transformation between the two movies.)

Of course I wouldn't be a true Twilight fan if I didn't hate every time the movie strayed from the books. Like, Bella hopping on the motorcycle with the scary guy? And Edward immediately telling Bella he still loved her after she saves him? And Bella emailing Alice all the time? And Jane (Dakota Fanning) having to say "pain" to use her power? I know that is minor but for some reason it bugged me because it was completely unnecessary. And what is the deal with Edward's car?! First it's a hatchback, now it's a BLACK hatchback?! Have these people no respect for the most crucial details of the books? Apparently not.

But despite this, I loved it. Every second of it. I can't wait to see it again. There were definitely things I thought they could have adapted better, but all in all I thought it was better than Twilight and totally worth the astronomical chore of getting 312 people to go with me so I could see it 6 hours earlier. If you haven't seen it yet...why not?! I'll totally go with you.

Movie Queen's Rating: PG

*Check my other blog later today for my review of my night.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Movies that have been taken from my favorite books are always so hard to review. It doesn't matter how good of a job they do making it, there are always those page-to-screen differences that are difficult for me to swallow.

The Harry Potter movies have probably done the best job of being worthy of their printed counterparts. Each one, in my opinion, has totally lived up to the phenomenon. The visual effects, the casting choices, even the *cough* adapted screenplay. The same can be said for the latest installment.

While there was nothing new or especially exciting in The Half-Blood Prince, it was still completely enjoyable. A good mix of humor, suspense, drama, action, first-time love and teenage turmoil.

What I love the most is watching these child actors and the characters they play grow and develop before our eyes. It makes it so real for me, seeing them actually grow from baby-faced eleven year olds learning how to use a wand to grown adults fighting the forces of evil and developing relationships between themselves. I have loved watching Hermione's and Harry's friendship blossom and mature throughout each movie, something I actually never picked up on in the books. I can't get enough of Ron and Hermione's love/hate relationship and seeing the starts of their denial that there is something more. And surprisingly enough, I have really enjoyed watching Malfoy transform into the tall, tormented man that he is now. That is why I LOVE the movies. I almost feel like a proud mother bird watching her babies take flight for the first time. (Forgive me the cheesy metaphor.)

What I can't stand is the obvious changes they made. My goal is to one day make a movie from a widely popular book EXACTLY AS IT WAS WRITTEN, and then cut out less-important parts for the sake of time. I understand there are certain things that may need to be juiced up a bit to be visually appealing, but I am sorry--cutting out ENTIRE scenes only to add in completely NEW and embarrassingly POINTLESS scenes is ridiculously uncalled for. And changing the way the most pivotal romance plays out is just insulting to the masses of fans who know these books inside and out. And while I'm on a roll, I know that England isn't necessarily known for its sunny weather, but why did everyone have to look like they were one bout of the flu away from death? Everyone had a pasty gray palor bordering on ghost-white that actually started to make me feel a little ill myself just looking at. I didn't get it. Oh, and I really think it should have been rated PG13. Any movie with crawling corpses and a reference to dragon testicles should not be rated PG.

All in all, I really did enjoy it. I can't say I loved it as much as the Order of the Phoenix, but it's not too far behind. If you love HP and haven't seen it yet, well...you call yourself a fan?

Movie Queen Rating: G (for Great)

The Proposal

Can I just tell you how much I loved this movie? I LOVED this movie. For once, a film completely lives up to its trailer, and then some.

It's not exactly a new concept for the big screen: Boy and girl agree to get married because one of them is about to get deported. Boy and girl pretend to be in love and try to convince everyone around them (especially the immigration guy) that their relationship is legit, and in the meantime, end up falling for each other. (Don't gasp at the fact that I just gave the ending away. It's not rocket science, people.) It brings to mind 1990's Green Card and even a bit of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

However, it more than makes up for its less-than-original premise by actually being romantic and comical, something that can't be said about most romantic comedies.

Sandra Bullock (always a sure bet) plays Margaret, a cold-hearted, career driven editor-in-chief at a publishing company who learns she is being deported to her native Canada due to an expired visa. Ryan Reynolds (aka Mr. Scarlett Johansson) is Andrew, Margaret's assistant who despises his job but hangs in there with dreams of becoming an editor himself one day. When Margaret hears the shocking news that she is about to be shipped north, she bribes Andrew into marrying her by threatening that if he doesn't, his dreams of becoming an editor are over. His hands tied, Andrew agrees.

Next thing she knows, Margaret is on a plane to Sitka, Alaska to meet Andrew's family and announce the engagement. Of course, the obligatory characters are all there: The kooky, energetic grandma; the disapproving father angry at his son's life choices; the beautiful bombshell of an ex-girlfriend who inexplicably spends all her time with the family. But what sets The Proposal apart is the actual laughs it brings, between Margaret's culture shock and "Gammy's" antics, and other characters and situations that had me gracing the theater-goers with my boisterous guffaw.

But what made me fall in love with the movie was Andrew. Not Ryan Reynolds, although of course I have to credit him somewhat, but the character he played. Until now I only knew of Ryan Reynolds in obnoxious, cringe-worthy roles. But he pulled out the acting guns for this role, and actually had me sighing girlishly at parts. He was sweet, funny, real, and ripped. (Just FYI.) I actually found myself bitter at the end, thinking he could do better than Margaret.

Other pros: The Alaskan scenery was to die for, Andrew's family was thoroughly enjoyable, and a favorite from The Office pops up throughout the movie in a hilarious role.

Cons: Although there was no actual love scene, there was some surprising nudity (no visible parts per se, but lots and lots of skin). There. You've been sufficiently warned by me.

Movie Queen Rating: G

Movie Queen Rating System:
G - Great
PG - Pretty good
PG13 - Eh
R - Rubbish

Confessions of a Shopaholic

I often worry that I'm going to become that person that people say "I don't read her reviews. She ruins every good movie," about. I've thought back through the movies I've reviewed and could count on one hand the ones that I said only good things about. But I'm not easily entertained, I guess, and even the movies I love have things that bug me in them.

So, I was very excited when I came home from Confessions of a Shopaholic and realized I could write a review where I do nothing but rant and rave. And believe me, this came completely unexpectedly.



I'd been told about the books and that I just had to read them. They sounded fun, but I'm more the type that needs real depth and emotion, not so much the fun chick-lit. I thought the same thing about the movie, especially after seeing the previews: I'm sure I'll see it, but only because it would make a great GNO movie. The previews didn't do the movie justice, at all.

Imagine my surprise when halfway into the movie I found myself thinking "I really love this movie!"

("Yes...I Googled.")

Interspersed among the aforementioned "fun-ness" (i.e. the brightly colored designer clothes, chick music playing in the background, and endless talk about shopping) were many surprises.

One was Isla Fisher as Rebecca Bloomwood, the shopaholic. I've only ever seen her in one other thing (which will remain nameless) and wasn't hugely impressed. However, she absolutely shined in this role. She was perfect as the sweet, vivacious girl with a weakness for Gucci. I completely fell in love with her (in a totally platonic way, of course).



Another was the humor. I was prepared for some soft chuckling, maybe a giggle or two. (Just kidding. I don't giggle.) I wasn't prepared for full-on laughing--the loud, boisterous guffaw that scares babies, the one my mom says sounds like a truck driver. I didn't expect to use that. But I did. Several times. (One time in particular is the scene in which Rebecca dances with a fan. Pure comedy.)

(Rebecca dancing with her fan)

Another surprise was romance. Now, call me blonde if you will, for not realizing there would be some kind of romance in this movie. Every movie throws in some sort of relationship. Even Speed had romance in it. But for some reason I didn't expect it, and was pleasantly surprised when not only did it show itself, but in a way that made me sigh girlishly instead of rolling my eyes. The end in particular, which I will not give away, actually made my heart go tha...................dunk, down into my stomach. You know, the very last scene involving a certain green item. The hopeless romantic in me was literally aching. Hugh Dancy, who played Rebecca's love interest (and is engaged to Claire Danes), didn't do much for me looks-wise until I fell in love with his character. By the end of the movie he was smokin' hot!

(Their first encounter)

But the biggest surprise, by far, was the morals and values this movie had. One aspect of this was its PG rating and its accompanying no language, no sex, no nothing content. (At least none that I can remember.) I thought for sure it would have been more of a Sex In The City type movie, and I was so happy to be wrong. Another aspect was the message of self-reliance. The whole movie screamed "GET OUT OF DEBT." It showed the hardship and pain that debt brings with it and the happiness and freedom that comes from being debt-free and financially secure. Although we definitely hear this more and more with today's economy, it's still shocking to see it coming from Hollywood.

(The look of financial freedom)

By the time the credits rolled, I had laughed, I had "cried" (you know, internally, with no tears), I felt uplifted and inspired and moved. And I knew I could--and would--recommend this movie to anyone who would listen.

(I had to throw this picture in because this character's name was Alicia, which is very cool.)

Bride Wars

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm not the world's biggest romantic comedy fan. It either has to be extremely romantic or extremely comical for me to really like it. Most try too hard to be both and fail miserably. Others are the fun kind of fluff that put a smile on your face. The kind that have everyone walking out saying "It was cute."

Bride Wars was that kind of movie. It was sweet and amusing and dare I say...heart-warming? I even laughed out loud a few times.

Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson play Emma and Liv, respectively, best friends since childhood. After attending a wedding at The Plaza in June together when they were young, they became obsessed with all things wedding, specifically, getting married at The Plaza in June.

Fast forward fifteenish years later and both are engaged. They promptly book their weddings at The Plaza in June, only to find out later that a mix-up put their weddings on the same day. Once they realize neither is willing to budge on the date or location, they start to sabotage each other in an effort to destroy the other's perfect day. Cue blue hair dye, bronze tanning spray, and pregnancy rumors.

The "big laughs" were not so much. I am never entertained by the parts that are supposed to make me laugh. Apparently one bride tackling another, white tulle flying everywhere, is supposed to have me rolling in the aisles. But the crazy antics they pulled on one another were just a little too unrealistic for me to find humorous. It was the subtle, quick one-liners that had me laughing. In fact, the most laughs came from Kristen Johnston (who, if I'm not mistaken, has lost a TON of weight) as Emma's Maid of Honor.

The light humor was not enough to carry this movie, though. What made me walk away saying, "That was good" was the relationship between the two lead characters. Now, I have to say here that it was definitely a "movie" relationship. How many ten year olds do you know who were exclusive best friends and remain so to this day, as adults? I don't know any. Maybe you do. That would be cool. But I doubt it. I always have a hard time with this. Give me something I can relate to. But, for what it was, it pulled at my heartstrings, and that's saying a lot. A lot. I just about lost it (and we all know that means my eyes were burning and I had a lump in my throat and that's where it came to a screeching halt) during one profound scene that I want to describe but don't want to give away. All I'll say is it involved a mirror and two brides and several sniffles behind me.

Anne Hathaway, who annoyed me to death in her early roles, has become an actress I really like. She was enjoyable to watch as Emma, and actually put some feeling into the role. Kate, on the other hand...something about her just rubs me the wrong way. Maybe it's the way she talks. It always sounds like her throat is coated in something thick. Also, is it just me, or was she wearing a wig?

All in all, the few funny parts that made it about half of a funny movie and the few moving parts that made it about half of a tear-jerker, put together, made a up a whole movie that was pretty good. Oh, and it was only PG, which meant it was virtually sex and language-free.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

If someone asked me to describe this movie in one word I would know exactly what to say without hesitation: interesting. This movie was definitely interesting.

You know how Brad Pitt has been in hottie action movies like Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Fight Club? And then he's also been in those loooooong sloooooooow movies like A River Runs Through It and Meet Joe Black? (Oh, you don't remember Meet Joe Black? Get in line.) But you sit through the long, slow movies because it's Brad Pitt and they keep showing his face?

Well, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button falls somewhere in the middle of these. It's long, it's slow, and they keep showing Brad's face, but it's all old and wrinkly and he's nearly unrecognizable for most of the movie. However, you keep watching not because you know that at some point they have to show Brad's beautiful face in all its youthful glory, but because you're fascinated. At least I was. My husband...not so much.

You've probably heard the intriguing premise of the story: A man ages backwards. This in and of itself piqued my interest enough to see the movie. On top of that, the much-talked about CGI they used to digitally age Brad Pitt made me curious. (No pun intended.) What I wanted to see was how it was going to work--a woman gives birth to an old man? Hmmm....

The story is told in a flashback, present-day being set in New Orleans as Hurricane Katrina is starting to hit. (Which explains Brad's housing projects there the last few years.) The story flashes back to 1918, the night Benjamin is born. I don't want to give too much away, but I will say that my questions were answered quickly: Benjamin is born a baby, with the health and characteristics of an old man. As he ages in years, he both grows like a normal person but becomes more youthful. Basically, you just have to see it to have any idea what I'm talking about.

The first half of the movie was slow. There were a lot of parts that dragged on and didn't seem to have anything to do with the rest of the movie. It reminded me a lot of Forrest Gump, the story spanning his entire life, told in flashbacks, characters coming in and out at the snap of a finger and the main character seemingly doing more in one lifetime than most people could do in four. Even the two characters were very similar, with their blank expressions and southern drawls and completely naive outlook on life. I actually laughed when I discovered today that the two movies had the same screenwriter.

Things picked up when Cate Blanchett finally made her appearance and the love story kicked in.
Brad finally looked like Brad, and this was the only time, in my opinion, that he showed any kind of personality. After so long of seeing that face hidden under all those wrinkles and bald head, it was so refreshing to see his real face. I was still a little restless, though, as two hours came and went and there was no signs of stopping. But the movie truly came to life at the end, with the love story coming full circle and Benjamin nearing the end of his life, this time, as a perfect pink newborn with dementia.

Like I said...interesting. The coolest part was that during the whole movie, I thought to myself, "This seems like it could be an old novel, some old classic that I've never heard of." I couldn't believe it when the credits rolled and there, in huge letters, said "Based on the short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald." Am I the only one who had never heard of this?

Here are some of the things I liked and didn't like:

I liked the concept. It fascinated me. It was different from other movies, and I liked that.

I didn't like yet another movie that glorified adultery. (Note to Hollywood: If someone is married, it is not morally acceptable for them to sleep with someone else because that person is the love of their life. It doesn't put a one-night hold on their marriage license.)

I liked the aging CGI. It was amazing.

I did not like the "youthful CGI", i.e. lots of makeup and fuzzy lights. It made the characters look like they'd stepped out of an oil painting. Why was it easier for them to make Cate and Brad look 40 years older than ten years younger?

I liked the setting, in old New Orleans. I've always had a thing for New Orleans, and I loved that he was raised by a black woman who runs a nursing home.

I did not like the length, mainly because I can pinpoint the exact parts of the movie that could easily have been taken out and made the movie better for it.

My recommendation: Rent this. There's nothing you will miss seeing it on a small screen, and it's not worth the price of a movie ticket. It is worth the price of a movie rental, though, and definitely worth seeing once. Oh, except for you Nan, don't see this. Turns out they mean "button" literally. Lots and lots of buttons.

Twilight

I would say there are spoilers, but, come on, like you all don't already know what happens?


So. I saw Twilight last night. It was....surreal. That's the perfect word for my experience. Let me preface my review by clarifying a common misconception: I did not have especially high hopes for this movie. I know my blog posts convinced you otherwise, but really, I was just dang excited to see the movie. That didn't mean I thought it was going to be excellent. No, I was fully prepared to be incredibly disappointed. Even if they did it perfectly, I would have issues, because obviously it would never look the way onscreen that it did in my head. I think all of us who read and loved the books felt that way. So, having said that, here it is:

I....had...a very hard time with it. I cringed through probably 80% of the movie. I didn't walk away hating it, but I liked it less than almost everyone else I saw it with. This is not shocking--the more you love the books the less you're bound to like the movie. But enough of that. Here's my breakdown of what I hated, what was weird, what was cool, and what made my dreams very nice last night.

It started off awesome, the first shot a gorgeous picture in the very green, very wet Pacific Northwest forests. I love me my Washington. It was misty, the music was very sort of eery and dramatic, and it set the mood perfectly. The filming had this dark, grainy quality which gave the movie a kind of indy feel, which I loved. Enter Bella, narrating for the sake of the four people watching the movie who hadn't read the books. She was talking in this very sad, very depressing voice, and I half expected her to hang herself at any moment. As she spouted off the story of why she was moving from Phoenix to Forks, I thought it was a little weird that they chose to begin the movie with her spewing forth this information instead of revealing it to us later in a conversation with someone. It wouldn't have been hard to do--she could have told any one of the plethora of kids at her new school when they asked why she moved. But that's just the movie critic in me.

I thought I was really going to like Kristen Stewart's take on Bella. She really seemed to get the serious, shy, moody, part of her. But I soon realized that was her only take on Bella. She didn't give a real smile the entire movie. It was always this half-smile, as she awkwardly shifted her head and eyes around to show us how truly uncomfortable she was. I guess in some respect she succeeded--she was so convincing she made me uncomfortable. In almost every scene. I started silently pleading for her to just relax. Take a deep breath. Relax your face muscles. It was as if any moment she was just going to lose it--go completely postal and start screaming at everyone, wildly swinging a butcher knife above her head. Which, actually, I think would have been great. At least she would have shown an emotion other than melancholy.

And then, enter the Cullens. This is where the irony comes in. The part of the movie I thought I was going to have the hardest time with was the other members of the family. I was not thrilled with the casting, at all. But in the movie, they were fabulous. The parts they were in were some of my favorite parts of the movie (like when Edward takes Bella to his house to meet them--hilarious.), especially because Pylon Girl (Esme) only had, like, 2 lines. They really were able to make these ordinary real-life humans stand apart from the rest, thanks to makeup and an expensive wardrobe. I thought it was great how they introduced them, walking past the windows in slow-mo, one by one, of course saving Edward for last.

Our first shot of Edward was a classic example of how the movie completely ruined what should have been the best parts. As he rounded the corner into our view, they actually had this music in the background that sounded like angels singing. It. Was. Ridiculous. Of course the entire theater was cracking up, because I know we were all thinking the same thing. And that was just the beginning of the embarrassing, awkward moments throughout the movie, moments that could have, and should have, been amazing.

Their first several scenes together were literally painful to watch. I was in pain. Besides the above-mentioned acting by Miss Stewart, Rob Pattinson had two facial expressions he switched between for the first, probably half an hour: "I'm about to throw up" or "I'm about to cry." He looked in pain, which I know he was supposed to, but it could have probably been toned down. The fact that he covered his nose when she first walked in and looked like he was going to hurl at any moment totally ruined it for me. That whole scene, where he's just staring at her, then they zoom in super close on his golden eyes, was laughable. I was laughing. And I don't think they were trying to be funny, which makes me mad. And if they were trying to be funny, that makes me mad. There was nothing remotely funny about that part of the book.

The hardest part for me about the whole movie was the romance between Bella and Edward. Any idiot off the street knows this is the essence of the books. This is why they are insanely popular. This is why we were in line at 5:30 to see a 7:05 showing of the movie. This is why I am obsessed. And it was not there. In my opinion, the entire essence of the books was missing from the movie. I didn't feel it. (Except for the make-out scene, I definitely felt that.) They went from "we can't be friends" and "why do you hate me" to "I don't care that you want to kill me, I trust you" and "you are my life now." If I hadn't read the books, I'd be thinking, "Yeah, so, how did they get to that point?"

The meadow scene, quite possibly the best scene of the entire book, was, well, destroyed. No, pulverized. Maybe the worst scene of the movie. (Don't get me started on the sparkly skin.) The drive back from Port Angeles, the key conversation, the start of their relationship, one of my all-time favorite chapters...missing. Just, gone.

And then it jumps to the action. The evil nomad vampires come in and the hunt is on. The stunt doubles come out and the wire-works begin. The big fight in the ballet studio at the end was actually cooler than I thought it would be, but they quickly ruined that, too, with the most horrible, absurd part yet--Edward sucking the venom out of Bella's arm and relishing it a little too much. I know I said something out loud, I can't remember if it was a groan or a "what the heck?" or a combination of the two. It. Was. Bad.

Thank goodness it ended on a good note: Bella, in the hospital, breaks down crying, pleading for Edward to stay with her and never leave her. Wait, are those...tears? Is that....emotion that Bella is showing? Oh, so she was just saving her acting skills for the final scenes, I get it. Well played, Kristen, well played.

And then, the last scene, the Prom. The part in the gazebo was gorgeous, and incredibly romantic with all the white lights and slow music and them dancing close...they nailed the "is he going to change her?" scene--I think there might actually have been steam coming off the movie screen when he leaned in and kissed her neck. Deep breaths, Alicia, deep breaths.

And then it was done. And my mind was spinning and racing and people were asking me what I thought and I did...not...know...what...to...tell...them. I wanted to avoid it, but I knew it was unavoidable. When some of my friends asked me what I thought, I equated it to being asked what you thought of your first child being born. (I don't really feel the two are the same for me, I was just trying to think of something they could possibly relate to.) How do you answer that? It's too personal, there's just too much.

Other things I had issues with were some minor details they felt they needed to change for no apparent reason, stuff that so could have been left alone. Most of them have slipped my mind, but some that I remember are a) Bella did NOT have a cell phone b) Bella's computer was a dinosaur with dial-up, most definitely NOT a Mac and c) Converse and leggings to the Prom? Really?

But...



I loved Rob. I did, even though I hated him in the beginning. Each scene he got better. Each scene he looked less nauseous and more perfect. Each scene he smiled more and relaxed more and looked more and more like Edward. And he nailed the accent. I was so impressed with the accent.

I loved the kissing scenes. If there was one thing they got right, it was drawing out that first kiss, even longer than the typical lean-in-super-slow-to-create-sexual-tension movie kiss. You could feel the fear, you loved Edward for telling her twice to hold still, and finally, when you think you can't stand it any longer, their lips finally meet and....um...wow. It was definitely racier than the book (they NEVER kissed like that in Twilight), but, that's Hollywood. After that scene was over, I leaned over to my friend Kim and said, "My whole body feels like jello." Holy Hot.

I loved the baseball scene. I know! Imagine my shock when the part of the book that seemed so ridiculous to me, that I could not imagine looking cool in any sense of the word, was one of my favorite parts. The lightening and thunder, the rock music in the background, the speed and strength...it was awesome. I even liked the baseball uniforms! I know, so weird.

I loved Edward's room and all the gorgeous shots of "Washington". (I know it was Oregon, but whatever, like anyone can tell.) I loved when he took her up in that tree and the view behind them and he's up there smiling at her...loved it.

I loved the unexpected humor, mostly with the supporting cast, who were great by the way. I especially liked Jessica. She was perfect. Her "boob" comment was one of my favorites.

I loved seeing my favorite story played out before me, where I could see it. Even though so many parts were hard for me to watch, I still loved watching it. I can't wait to see it again.

I know there will be a million and one things I will think of later, so I'll probably have to do a follow-up later like I did with Breaking Dawn. I'm feeling really rushed right now (trying to go out with my husband) but I really wanted to get this done today for you all. So now I really, really want to know what you all thought. PLEASE comment and tell me, even if you totally disagree with my review.

*********************************************************************************

Okay, second review coming. Yeah, so I took my husband to go see it tonight. And I have to say it was soooooo much better the second time around. Now that I knew what parts were going to be cheesy it made them so much more bearable. And my husband, who has never read the books, loved it. He keeps asking me questions about it and I can't believe I can finally tell him everything I know. (He's probably getting way more information than he wanted.)

I think I didn't give Kristen quite enough credit. I think she played Bella as best as anyone could. And I forgot about the part where Charlie (whom I've nicknamed Chief Comic Relief, by the way) gives her her truck--she actually laughs and looks happy and normal. So there was that one.

The one major thing I forgot to mention that really bothered me was the biggest change they made: how Bella found out he was a vampire. Instead of Jacob telling her on the beach, she had to buy a book and put it together. (Which, why did she google to find a book, buy the book, read something in the book, then google that thing. Why the heck didn't she just google the "legend" and keep on reading? Stupid lamb.) Anyway, another completely unnecessary change.

So I really loved it tonight. I noticed the music even more, and can't wait to buy the soundtrack. I especially love Bella's Lullaby and watching Edward play it. (That was really Rob playing that, btw. Is there anything sexier than a guy playing the piano? ) So for those of you who were as disappointed as I was, go see it again. Preferably with your significant other. Just tell them it's a vampire movie, they'll go.

The Secret Life of Bees

This movie was such an unexpected treasure. I went into it with next to no idea of what it was about, which is fun to do sometimes. I knew it was based on a pretty popular book, and I'd read the little synopsis on fandango, but that was it. I knew who was in it, though, and that made me want to see it: Dakota Fanning, Queen Latifah, Alicia Keys, Paul Bettany, and Jennifer Hudson.

For those of you like me who haven't read the book, it's about a young teenage girl named Lily (Fanning) in 1964 South Carolina who is haunted by fuzzy memories of her mother's death ten years earlier. With only a few items of her mother's as clues to guide her, she runs away to a town called Tiburon with her nanny (Hudson) in search of answers, leaving her abusive father (Bettany) behind, furious and determined to find her and bring her back. Upon arriving in Tiburon, she is led to three bee-keeping sisters (Latifah, Keys and Sophie Okonedo) who take her in and begin to teach her the trade of honey-making. Over time, Lily learns about love, family, and the truth about her mother's past.

Dakota Fanning has always been an amazing actress for someone so young. I was mesmerized by her skills back in 2001 watching I Am Sam, when she was 7. Now she's 14, and has somehow managed to avoid the awkward, not-so-attractive pubescent phase. Although she looked pale and sickly the entire movie, she was still easy on the eyes, not painful to watch at all (unlike Haley Joel Osment screeching his way through Secondhand Lions.) She will only get better with time. (And hopefully steer clear of the Child Actors Hall of Shame, otherwise known as rehab.)

Queen Latifah is just, well, awesome. I love her. She is so classy and real and I could sit and watch her read the phone book. Jennifer Hudson was great as a proud but scared black woman who just wants her place in the world, and Sophie Okonedo played an emotionally unstable but lovable sweetheart really well. (I still can't look at her without seeing the Watchati Princess who bears her upper half to Ace Ventura, though.) Paul Bettany, who I've loved since A Beautiful Mind, swaps his British accent here for a southern one and is actually believable doing so. It was hard watching him as a complete loser, but that just proves what a great actor he is. And Alicia Keys...she was who I was most curious to see, never having seen her act before. I've always been a big fan of her music, and I think she is go-geous (plus she has the coolest name on the planet). She didn't let me down. She played the very proud, very put-together, very stick-up-her-you-know-what sister perfectly.

I fell in love with this movie because there was no fluff. It was real, it was powerful, it was gritty at times...it made me well up in several parts and I don't cry at movies. It dealt with racism, broken families, abuse, and first loves, to name a few. I saw it with my husband and thought for sure he would have thought it was girly and sappy, but he loved it. He is still talking about the "bee" movie, which throws me off every time because I always think he's randomly bringing up the animated "Bee Movie."

And other than a few swear words, there really wasn't anything in it that shouldn't have been. I will definitely be owning this one, and now I have to add the book to my mile-long list of books to read.

*Go here for a look at this movie through the eyes of someone (my cousin Noelle) who also lost their mother at a very young age. It has a bit more spoilers than mine, but is so worth the read.

High School Musical 3: Senior Year

SPOILER-FREE

It's embarrassing how excited I was to see HSM3. I didn't even hide the fact that I wanted to go see it for me...oh, and my seven year old daughter could come too, if she wanted. (Actually I took both my kids--Payson loves the movies too--and saw it with Michelle and her kids, which was so much fun.)

HSM stuck to it's tried and true formula while making the transition to the big screen. I was curious if it would be different at all, being a "real movie" now. I am happy to report there was not much change. I loved the things about it that I always loved--the singing, dancing, romance, squeaky clean and incredibly trendy teenagers. I cringed at the parts I always cringed at--Gabriella's giggles, Troy's solo dances, and basically all the parts that tried so hard to be "cute." (I don't do cute.)

Zac Efron is better than ever as Troy. You can easily tell he is the only real actor in the bunch, which makes sense, since he is the only one who actually has a resume under his belt. The rest can sing and dance and smile real good, but Zac can act. I don't know how he does it, but even when he's popping and locking and doing his best impression of a boy band member, he doesn't make me squirm in my seat, embarrassed for him. He totally pulls it off, somehow. However, every rose has its thorn, and of course he had to have his angst-filled solo song and dance (remember the Bet On It scene in #2?. I gotta say this one beat that one out.)

Vanessa Hudgens is still the same sugar-coated, ultra sweet Gabriella. She's so beautiful it's sickening, with a body to die for, and she can definitely sing, but usually as I'm watching her I want to hit Troy in the head and say, "Really?" No one who giggles that much is a "freaky genius girl." Even Sharpay seems to have more inside her head than Gabriella. And I swear, if I had to hear her call Troy "Wildcat" one more time I was going to throw my diet Dr. Pepper at the screen.

The Sharpay bit wore a little thin for me the third time around, but I was pleased to see that despite the nose job, Ashley Tisdale still looked like Sharpay.

The music (which is the essence of the film, as we all know) was as good as always--catchy, fun, soon to be running incessantly through all our heads. A couple of songs were ruined for me by the dance numbers that accompanied them, but I know once I'm rocking out to the soundtrack in my minivan, I'll fall in love with them too.

Michelle and I had fun gawking at some of the wardrobe choices. You won't believe it until you see it, but Gabriella wears a dress that seriously--I kid you not--has sleeves that look something akin to these ones, only on a smaller scale:


It was a cute, flower-print dress, with total 80's sleeves. And some of Ryan's and Sharpay's ensembles were laughable. It was funny if they were going for laughs, but if not...ouch.

All in all, I walked away satisfied with the final installment of High School Musical. In fact, I almost teared up a little at the end, which really concentrated on the "finale" aspect. For starting out as someone who swore up and down they would NEVER watch such a cheesy, gag-inducing movie, I've come a long way to the not-ashamed-to-admit-it-HSM fan that I am. If you're a fan, you'll love it too.

Eagle Eye

Since my genius idea of doing two separate reviews for each movie resulted in my first-ever ZERO COMMENTS on a post, I'm back to doing one. This review will have no major spoilers.
Please, feel free to read. And comment.


Let it be known that Eagle Eye is a guy flick in every sense of the term. And this chick liked it. It helped that I went into it expecting nothing more than a brainless, big-budget action movie with lots (and lots) of car chases, people running for their lives, and things being blown up. Don't get me wrong--it was all of those things, minus the mindless part. I was not prepared to have to think during this movie, but think I did.

So Jerry Shaw (Shia LaBeouf) is a highly unmotivated nobody mourning the sudden loss of his twin brother when he receives a phone call from some random female voice spouting out commands that he neither understands nor wants to listen to. He quickly learns that if he doesn't obey the monotonous voice, bad things will happen.

Rachel Holloman (Michelle Monaghan) is a single mother who receives a similar phone call from the same voice after shipping her son off to a band performance for the weekend. Once she is informed her son's life depends on her cooperation, she's running around like a mad woman, doing whatever the voice tells her to do. Soon she and Jerry are thrown together in a run for their lives.

The movie hooked me right at the beginning by first painting an intriguing picture of Jerry's depressing life before launching into the game of cat and mouse. I was quickly theorizing about Jerry and his brother and government conspiracies and musical instruments and terrorism. Shia LaBeouf is always a joy, although I can only focus on his bottom lip whenever he talks--why is it always covered in saliva? Michelle Monaghan is cute and does an adequate job of running around terrified, but _____________ could have done it just as well. (Fill in the blank with the name of any current actress.)

My only complaint was the use of the "sh" word. (Why do I always feel 10 years old when I call it that?) Good heck, it had to be some kind of record. Now, I have to admit that if a giant metal beam was coming at me, ready to decapitate me, I might drop an "sh" bomb myself. I guess it was probably realistic that in a constant adrenaline-pumping fight for life, they felt the need to swear a few times. But it doesn't mean I wanted to hear it. Again. And again. And again.

Okay, that was a lie. I did have one more complaint. I thought the end was a little hokey. I can't tell you why, though, because that would be a spoiler, and I wouldn't want to give anyone cause to NOT comment on this review. But I can tell you that my husband didn't think it was hokey; in fact, he loved just about every aspect of this movie, and since he is exactly the demographic they were shooting for, I guess that's what matters.

So make your husband happy--take him to see this, he'll love you forever. And you might not hate it yourself. But you don't have to tell him that.

Nights of Rodanthe

Nights of Rodanthe (I still have no idea how that is pronounced) is Nicholas Sparks' fourth novel to be made into a film. Which means, this movie is A) a dramatic, tear-jerking romance, B) set on the North Carolina coast and C) concluded with someone dying. I forgot about this last characteristic that almost every single Nicholas Sparks novel has, until it became apparent toward the end that someone was getting the axe. I literally rolled my eyes, shook my head and yelled a silent, internal "DUH!" to myself. How had I not seen that coming?! He ALWAYS has someone die, and not just a supporting character, but one of the two main love interests. Why is it he thinks love can't be true love unless one of them dies? I think it's his goal to extract as many tears from our eyes as possible (hah! In his face! No tear-leakage from this heartless gal) and what better way to do that than spend the entire flick leading up to an undying, passionate love....and then kill one of them off. Seriously, someone tell him we're women--we (and by we I mean all the rest of you) will still bawl at a sappy, happy, lovey-dovey ending, where the couple actually (gasp!) ends up together, both alive. You know, "You had me at hello." That kind of ending.

But I got ahead of myself. Back to the beginning. So Adrienne (love that name), played by none other than the fabulous Diane Lane, is debating whether or not to let her cheating husband come back home, when she agrees to help out her friend (the token funny BFF) by taking care of her inn for a weekend. A weekend that happens to get hit with a hurricane. Paul, (Richard Gere, more on him later) a divorced father of one son who won't speak to him, checks in at the inn on this very weekend, despite the fact that he is fully aware of the impending hurricane. Being the off-season for tourists, he is the only guest. I don't see where this is headed at all, do you?

Playing out exactly as you would expect, there's the nervous awkwardness, the little side-glances here and there as they check each other out, and so on and so forth. The build-up actually went on longer than I expected, to the point where I was like, "Okay, hook up already." But in the meantime, I thoroughly enjoyed watching Ms. Lane. I haven't seen her in a lot of things, regretfully. She is amazing. Every line she spoke, or didn't, was accompanied by the slightest eyebrow movement, or tiny smile, some facial expression that was so real and natural and said so much more than her lines. Now that's an actress.

Mr. Gere, on the other hand....well, I'm sorry to say, I don't like him. Maybe it's because he's as old as my dad, but I've just never understood what makes women go gaga over him. I get as much feeling from his acting as a limp noodle. Even as I watched him stand there, professing his love to Adrienne, I kept waiting to feel something that never came. And the onscreen chemistry between them I kept hearing about? I was watching for it. And watching. And watching.

But the beach was beautiful, and I kept picturing myself holed up in that inn, walking right out into the surf at sunset. And just when I was thinking that, despite the cliche mushiness, the movie was turning out to be better than I thought....someone dies in a mud slide. A MUD SLIDE! Oh, well, at least I got out of the house for a couple hours.

The Dark Knight

I read a review of this movie a few weeks back that spent the entire article raving about Heath Ledger's performance as The Joker, and then, at the very end of the article, said, "Oh, and Christian Bale was in it, too." This reviewer hit the nail on the head. For most of the movie (all the scenes without The Joker, to be exact) I sat, forehead scrunched up, eyebrows together, mind whirling, trying to follow the storyline. Finally, at the point that my head started throbbing, I gave up and waited for The Joker's scenes. The first half hour had me completely lost, feeling like a Kindergartner thrown into an advanced calculus class. I was so worried it was just my blondness coming through, but since then other people have assured me it wasn't just me. (Whew.)

But honestly, it didn't matter. No one will remember this movie for the politics, mafia, or bank heists. In fact, no one will probably remember this movie for the always-cool Batman gadgets, special effects, or action sequences. What people will be talking about for years to come is Heath Ledger as The Joker. I thought maybe I was expecting perfection, that I'd built up the performance I'd heard so much about too much in my head. I thought I might be disappointed. I wasn't. Not even a little. In fact, I was still blown away. The minute that distorted clown face appeared on the screen I went from confused and restless to completely engrossed. Never have I been so convinced that someone was psychopathic. It was disturbing, thrilling, chilling. I was so curious about The Joker's back story--what had happened in his past to make him become this insane killer? I thought, for one blissful moment, that we got a glimpse of that back story as he told how he got the disfiguring scars on his face. Then, twenty minutes later, he told a second, completely different story of how he got the scars, and I realized it was all part of the character: crazy. Although I do believe my interest in Mr. Ledger's performance is somewhat rooted in the fact that he recently passed on, I like to believe I would be just as fascinated if he were still alive. Because he was just. that. good.

Which is unfortunate for Mr. Bale, whom I adore. He is an amazing, amazing actor. He shone in Batman Begins, which I loved. He made the movie. He brought the saga back to life. He was rubber-suited perfection. And he still is, just...overshadowed. My only complaint about the masked man is that voice. Why is it that putting on the mask = talking like he eats lit cigarettes for every meal? It was unbearable to listen to (my husband literally clenched his fists every time he spoke), and almost ruined the character for me.

Maggie Gyllenhaal takes the place of Katie Holmes in the role of Rachel Dawes, Batman's main squeeze, and while there are some similarities in their facial features, the difference between the two actresses is like a kitten (Holmes) and a lioness in heat (Gyllenhaal). There are few things I hate more in movies than when a repeat character is played by a new actor. Oh, how I loathe this.

Aaron Eckhart plays Harvey Dent/Two-Face, and, although I won't deny the creepiness of the scarred half of his face, it resembled the guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark (you know, the one whose face melts off?) a little too much for my taste.

I honestly can't remember anything else about the movie, except for Heath, Heath and more Heath. Seriously, if he doesn't get an Oscar for this (it would only be the second time an actor received the honor post-mortem), there is no justice in this world.

Oh, and Christian Bale was in it, too.

The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants 2

If you've read this, you know what kind of a place I was in as I viewed this movie. Very BFFish. So I think that really helped my opinion of it.. It was better than I thought it was going to be. I saw the first one forever ago when it first came out on DVD. I enjoyed it, it was just a little too cute for my taste. So I expected much the same going into this one. And it was. Much the same. But this time it felt a little deeper, a little more grown up to me. I don't remember a lot about the first one, but it seemed like it was more about true friends and first crushes and such. This one took on more adult topics like pregnancy and mental illness.

Once again, it follows the four friends on their separate journeys through life as they spread out around the world. They continue to pass the magic jeans (that miraculously fits them all) between them every two weeks, although this time not all the friends take the "magic" so seriously. The different storylines can get confusing, especially since the screenwriters seemed to think the 1st movie would still be fresh in our minds. Two funerals right from the get-go still leave me wondering who died. The one relationship I remembered from the original was never mentioned in the sequel, while another carried over but had me wondering who the heck he was. (Until my viewing buddy graciously reminded me who he was from the first one.) I thought I was confused because I didn't remember the first one all that much, but my friend, who had read all the books, was even more confused because apparently they decided to squish all three sequels into this one movie. Yeah, confusing.

But still entertaining. Alexis Bledel (Lena), is going to art school and nursing a broken heart, which she attempts to do in the arms of a hunky nude model. (That was kind of weird.) Blake Lively, as Bridget, takes off on an archeology dig (so...is she a soccer player or an archaeologist?) and ends up digging up her painful past. Amber Tamblyn, back as the kooky Tibby, is falling in love and scared, especially once she decides to take things to the next level in her relationship. (This storyline, which involves a pregnancy scare, didn't bother me or my three adult friends, but when I thought about all the 7th graders out there sure to watch this flick, I was a tad disturbed.) And America Ferrera, as Carmen, is worth watching the movie for alone. She is by far my favorite of the four, so real, so down to earth. (And can I just say how refreshing it is to see her up there, in all her 5'1", full-figured glory, with all those taller, skinny actresses?) Her character is off to Vermont to work backstage on a play but ends up closer to the front of the stage and falling for her leading man.

With the exception of maybe one, the different storylines kept me interested, even as they bounced back and forth. The part that seemed out of place to me, ironically enough, was the pants themselves. They were such a minimal part of the plot, thrown in here and there to remind us what the movie is supposed to be about, and every time it showed them, it was like, huh? Oh, right, pants. Even the characters themselves seemed ready to ditch the pants. (I think maybe they realized they weren't 13 anymore.) You'd think this would make me appreciate the way it ended, but instead it felt wrong somehow.

When watching a movie about friendships based on magic jeans, this is the type of stuff I log away for my review:

~ The hair. I loved that most of the girls' hair was not perfect. In fact, "sloppy" seemed to be the theme when it came to the coifs, but I thought "natural." I loved it.

~ The clothes. I loved seeing all the different outfits and how they matched the girls' personalities. From Lena's perfectly put-together ensembles, to Bridget's sporty cas, to Carmen's laid-back basics, to Tibby's outrageous numbers, wardrobe must have had a ton of fun on this one.

~ The locations. Greece, Vermont, New York, Alabama, Turkey...the wannabe world-traveller inside me was definitely visually stimulated.

~ The quotes. My personal favorite: "How do you say 'lost pants' in Greek?"
"Greek girls do not lose their pants!!"

Bottom line: Fun chick flick to watch with friends. Try the kettle corn at Fairchild. It's yummy.

Mamma Mia!

Mamma Mia, how I loved this movie. All I can think about is when I can go back to see it. This is ironic, seeing as my first impression of the movie was "that looks totally cheesy." However, when I first saw the previews, I had no idea it was A) a musical and B) the famous Broadway musical with all the Abba songs. Once I realized that, the flamboyancy and goofiness made sense.

Still, I was a little hesitant as the opening credits rolled. I am always wary of musicals... usually the dramatic flare and overacting, while perfectly acceptable on stage, makes me squirm watching it on the big screen. People just shouldn't act like that. Plus, I am sadly uneducated in the songs of Abba and the musical Momma Mia. I have heard of them, that's about it. I had no idea what it was about. For those of you like me, the bottom line is a young girl is getting married and wants her father to give her away, but she has no idea who her father is. After reading her mom's old diary, she invites the three men it could possibly be to the Greek island where she and her mom run a hotel, unbeknownst to her mom. Of course, confusion and chaos ensue, as do numerous song and dance numbers.

After a dream sequence in which Meryl is jet skiing in an evening gown, I was just starting to wonder how I was going to sit through the next two hours when the one song I knew from the soundtrack--Dancing Queen--started up.

What is it about that song?! Every girl cell in my body woke up with a start. I watched in awe as Meryl Streep did air-splits on her bed, cheerleader-style, dancing around with her friends, singing into hair brushes and hair dryers, and I am completely and totally embarrassed to admit what I'm about to admit: I was fighting back tears!! I know, ridiculous! But I know I was only feeling what every other woman in the theater was feeling (and the entire theater was women, almost all of which were over 50): that part of us that will always be 17 years old, dancing around with our friends, singing at the top of our lungs. It took everything in me to sit still and not jump out of my seat and start dancing in the aisles. There was one woman up front who apparently didn't possess my level of self-control. She jumped up and started singing and dancing along with Meryl. It was awesome. I totally wish I would have done it. The entire theater clapped for her when the song was over.

After that, suddenly the movie appealed to me on all new levels. I loved every song after that, and started to relate to the characters emotionally. It helps that Amanda Seyfried, who played the lead, Sophie, is drop-dead gorgeous in a wide-eyed, innocent sort of way. She was perfect, and I loved watching her sweetness. She has a beautiful, clear voice as well.

And Meryl, while not a personal favorite, is unquestionably an amazing actress, and although I wouldn't say musicals is her genre, she could sing, and she was very convincing as a single mother trying to raise her daughter and make ends meet, while echoes from her past remind her of the girl she used to be (and still is). Her friends were a hoot (see if you can recognize her wacky friend with the short dark hair) and also competent singers.

The three men (Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan and Stellan Sarsgard) are adorably charming, even if their singing voices leave something to be desired. (Even the old women next to me who did nothing but gush through the entire movie started to chuckle when Pierce Brosnan busted out a ballad to Meryl. It was not pretty.)

What I loved about it, besides the catchy songs and fun dances, was the characters and the actors who played them. The movie encompassed a large variety of subplots and emotions. From young love to lost love to learning who you are to the bond between a mother and her daughter...it was all kinds of "pass the tissue."

Not to mention the GORGEOUS setting on a Greek island. Oh, how I longed to be there swimming in the clear green water. (The good kind of green, tropical green, not algae green.)

And Colin Firth was a crack-up, giving me the most laughs, although I'm not sure he was trying to be funny.

So...what I'm thinking is, I need to see this again, and I know for a fact my two viewing buddies would see it again in a heartbeat, and since so many people missed it who wanted to see it, we should have a repeat GNO. On one condition: We HAVE to get up and sing and dance. What do you think?

The Incredible Hulk (not to be confused with "Hulk")

First there was

Then there was

And now there is

Does the world really need three Incredible Hulks? No. Have I ever watched any of the other Incredible Hulks or had anything resembling desire to do so? No. Am I shocked that I saw this in the theater let alone watched it at all? Yes. Am I even more shocked that I thoroughly enjoyed it? You better believe it.

I know, I know. I, Alicia ________, (last name withheld to protect the paranoid) am not ashamed to say that I saw The Incredible Hulk and am about to give it a great review. Stay with me, I promise I haven't lost my taste in movies. I have good reasons for liking this movie. Here they are:


1. I obviously went into it expecting nothing. Well, worse than nothing. I expected a lot of eye-rolling, fidgeting, and 2 hours I'd never get back. Basically the movie could only go up from there.

2. Edward Norton. Amazing actor. No, I'd go so far as to say brilliant. I love Edward. (Yes, I'm still referring to Edward Norton.) He made this movie. He portrayed a man so deeply agonized by the monster he was that I almost ached for him. (Not unlike another Edward I know and love.)

3. I was so sure this would be a fluff movie that would use any excuse to show the giant computer-animated creature destroying stuff. I was wrong. The movie probably went on for at least 45 minutes before the green guy made an appearance. And when it finally did, it was quick, subtle, then disappeared again for quite a while. Of course towards the end there was plenty of screen time for Hulky, but that's to be expected. It seemed as if the movie-makers were actually interested in making a movie (shocking!), not just a glorified comic book on film.

Of course no movie is perfect. There were a few laughable qualities, like the fact that the Hulk's arch-nemesis could speak intelligently when transformed while Hulk was reduced to ignorant, broken sentence fragments. ("Hulk...smash!")

I didn't necessarily dislike Liv Tyler as Betty Ross (although I did keep expecting her to whip out her needle and thread and start sewing an American Flag) but she basically just ran around looking concerned, scared, and in love at the appropriate times. I could have done that. (Although I probably wouldn't have looked the same in the little white nightie she wore to bed.)

I also had the same thought that probably everyone else in the theater had: There is no way Bruce Banner's pants are that stretchy. Details, people, details.

But other than that, I had no complaints. They left it wide open for a sequel, and I am proud to say I can't wait. Who knows, maybe the fourth Incredible Hulk will look like this:

What Happens In Vegas

So you may have guessed that the reason it's taken me so long to review this movie is because I wasn't exactly blown away by it. The only part I remember laughing at was the very, very last scene; the extra, thrown-in scene after the credits have already started rolling. That was pretty funny.

The rest of the movie was _______________. (Choose one of the following words of your choice to insert there: obnoxious, laughless, cliched, annoying.) As I was watching I envisioned a group of Hollywood bigwigs sitting around a table saying, "We haven't done a romantic comedy in a while. We need a no-risk, guaranteed money-maker. Who's on the cover of Teen and YM this month? Let's get them to star in it." Then they pull out their checklist. At the top it says Formula For Romantic Comedy. Below it says:

• Gorgeous, hot-bodied "American sweetheart" female lead. Check.
• Goofy, buff, pretty-boy male lead. Check.
• Wacky, crude, comic-relief best friend. Check.
• Unrealistic, only-in-movies-would-that-ever-happen plot. Check.
• Hostility and sexual tension between two leads. Check.
• Sexual innuendos throughout, shocking humor, minimum one sex scene. Check.
  
• Scene involving male lead showing tender side with kids, resulting in female lead's changed opinion of male lead. Check.
• Dramatic argument between two leads near finale, seemingly devastating possible relationship. Check.
• Sappy, gag-inducing final scene including unconvincing sentiments and affection. Check.
  
• Cheesy joke to lighten mood. Check.

Roll Credits.

• Oh, extra add-in scene as credits roll. Must actually be funny. Check.
  

I guess what I'm saying is the movie wasn't horrible, but it was not good. If a movie is going to be that blatantly cookie-cutter, it sure as heck better have some good laughs to make up for it. This one did not. Cringes, however, were good and plenty.

And you know it says a lot if Ashton Kutcher was the less obnoxious person to watch. Seriously, Cameron, you're pretty and all, but you. bug. me. to. death. And we all know your cleavage was painted on.

Stay tuned....coming up is a positive movie review about a movie I loved...and you'll be shocked to find out what movie it is!!