Monday, February 9, 2009

Hold Up, Weight A Minute

I tried really hard to do a This Week in Hollywood over the weekend, but celebrities just aren't being funny this week. Or maybe I'm just not being funny this week. Either way, I'm going the opposite direction this morning. I'm going to rant instead.

Remember this picture from my last TWIH?




Obviously I chose it because it was just begging to be made fun of. Which I did. Ruthlessly. What I was making fun of was the monstrosity that Jessica had decided to don that day. I think that was pretty clear to my readers, who commented on said monstrosity. And, although I won't deny that as I first viewed the picture on PEOPLE.com the thought breezed through my mind that Jessica was filling her clothes out a little more than usual, in no way did I think that tiny blip on the radar was worthy of going into my post, and most definitely not something I would ever dream of making fun of. I actually thought it was just the horrible mom jeans and tank top that were incredibly unflattering, making Jessica appear to be curvier than she actually is.

But then I got the latest issue of PEOPLE. Jessica is on the cover next to the title Jessica Simpson: Weight Debate. Below that it says "Stop Calling Her Fat. Inside The Star's Bold Choice To Lead A Real Life." Bold choice? To eat? To wear a clothes size that is an actual number? Jessica Simpson? Fat? Seriously? If Jessica Simpson is fat, than I'm morbidly obese.

As I read the article I grew more and more disgusted. It quoted Perez Hilton saying "Jess got fat!" on his website. The New York Post called her Jumbo Jessica and added her to their list of 50 Fat Celebrities alongside Ruben Studdard. What the heck is wrong with this picture??!! Why does The New York Post have a list called 50 Fat Celebrities in the first place?

And our new President of the United States, the man who deserves our utmost respect and admiration, nicely cemented my opinion of him when, in an interview with Matt Lauer, he glanced at a magazine cover of Jessica and said she "is in a weight battle, apparently." Glad to see he's jumped right in to dealing with our nation's most pressing concerns.

I am so bleeping tired of these beautiful, healthy celebrity women getting slammed for putting on a few pounds, or (gasp!) wearing a bikini that shows a few thigh dimples. And we wonder why teenage girls are becoming more and more anorexic. They see someone like Jessica Simpson being called fat and believe that they must need to be skinnier, in order to not be "fat." Heck, our own President decided to help the nation's teen eating disorder problem along by calling a pop star (whose body I am positive almost every teenage girl covets) fat. Thanks for that, Obama.

Bottom line, this needs to stop. It is insulting. It is degrading. It is dangerous and hurtful and sad. And it's a complete double standard. If a male celebrity puts on some weight, not a word is said until he loses it, if he does. Then it's "How Great! So and So Lost 30 Lbs.!"

I'm not Jessica Simpson's biggest fan by any means. But when I see injustice, it makes me mad. I'll make fun of ridiculous clothes, sure, but make fun of someone's weight? Someone who still weighs less than most women alive? It makes me scared for our world. And really, who am I to say the girl can't rock a tank top and mom jeans if she wants?

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