I Feel, Therefore I Am

I've been thinking about something.

Passion.

No, not that kind of passion, get your mind out of the gutter. I mean passion as in feeling passionately about something. I had already been thinking about this in regards to my never-ending blog posts about Twilight, when I came across a blog post (of someone I don't know) that really touched a nerve with me. The post was titled Public Obsessions and basically bashed people who are outspoken about their passions. It said, among other things, that these people throw the words LOVE and HATE around too much, and that they are somehow doing their loved ones a disservice by saying "I LOVE my family" and also "I LOVE Twilight." It said they rely on something like a book or a movie to define themselves.

Okay, I could go a little crazy right now, but I'm going to attempt to stay calm, cool and collected and discuss this in an adult manner.

I am an extremely passionate person. (If you read my blog regularly, this will come as no surprise to you.) I have always been this way. When I find something I LOVE, I LOOOOVVVE it. When something bugs me, it bugs the holy CRAP out of me. When something makes me mad (like that post) it infuriates me. And when something makes me sad or hurt, it nearly destroys me.

I used to worry, and sometimes still do, that I take it too far. To the point of obsession. I have also always had this tendency. My mom has always said, "It's a good thing you never tried drugs because you would have been in big trouble." Sad, but oh so true. I have a very addictive personality. When I was diagnosed with a mild form of OCD, I actually thought, "Well that explains a lot."

But now...I embrace this quality. I LOVE being passionate. I LOVE feeling strongly about things. It makes me feel alive. I have to take an anti-depressant every day of my life that quite possibly numbs me in many ways (I see signs that this is the case every day). So when I feel something, and I feel it strongly, you better believe I'm gonna take it and run with it.

When I found Twilight, I was shocked at how strongly I reacted to it. I still don't know exactly why, but I have my theories, the main one being that I have always been a die-hard romantic and this LOVE story appealed to me in a way no other had before. It just seemed to bring something alive in me. I LOVE the way it makes me feel. I LOVE the warm, happy feeling I get when I think about it.

Does this mean my testimony has suffered somehow? Does my LOVE for Twilight somehow take away my LOVE for my Heavenly Father or my religion? Or my family? Heeeeeeck no. Because that's how passionate I am. I have just that much LOVE to go around.

Does Twilight define me? Contrary to what many believe, no. I am a complex, multi-layered person. There are many, many parts to me. Twilight just so happens to appeal to the part of me that I feel exceptionally passionate about: LOVE. And romance. And those are parts of me, parts that define me. Along with tons of other parts that also define me. It makes me happy and so I think about it. I talk about it. I read about it. I blog about it. One day, guaranteed, it will fade away and I will be sad.

Is it okay for people to be passionate about things? Yes, it's okay. Is it okay for people to be excited about said things and blog about them and even get a license plate declaring their LOVE for said things? Yes, it's okay. Is it okay for people who aren't so passionate to be judgemental and holier-than-thou about people who are? No--NOT okay.

Note to those people: While you're still standing in line trying to decide which movie to see, we'll be blowing past you, heading into the theater, Twilight ticket in hand. How do you like them apples?