Early to Rise, Healthy and Wise? Lies, I Say, Lies!!

It's 7:20 am, and I am the only one awake in a quiet house. This is something I've experienced maybe twice in my life. I am showered, dressed, and make-upped. (Yes, I know that's not a word.)

I've always wanted to do this, to wake up early before everyone else and get things done that I wouldn't normally have time for during the day.

Turns out I have nothing to do.

Waking up early is ridiculously overrated.

I could be in bed, getting some precious, much-needed sleep, curled up against my warm husband.

But I'm not.

Because the sleep gods hate me and have decided to punish me by making it impossible for me to sleep well past 4:30.

At 4:30 almost on the dot, I'm awake. (I should sue the sleeping pill company for all they're worth.) My body aches, I'm flipping and flopping all over the bed trying to get comfortable.

Then the dog starts barking.

No, not my dog. I don't have a dog. Because I hate them. Because they bark.

I don't know which of my neighbors this dog belongs to, but believe me, when I find out, (insert nasty threat here.)

Every morning. Dog barking.

So I put in my ear plugs.

Sent straight from heaven.

The dog continues to bark, but now it's faint, in the background. Manageable.

And then the sun starts to come up.

Out comes the black sleep mask.

Instant darkness.

Also heaven-sent.

No light, no sound.

Just an achy body flip-flopping around trying to get comfortable, now with foam plugs shoved in its ears and a stretchy mask strapped to its head.

At 6:00 I surrender. I fought the good fight, and I lost. I'm not afraid to admit defeat.

I get up, take a shower, start my day, with hours to spare.

Now what?