THIS WEEK IN HOLLYWOOD

SPECIAL EDITION

Every week as I peruse the web in search of potential victims for This Week in Hollywood,
there are always a few celebrities who consistently pop up, at least once every week (if not more), seemingly for the sole purpose of irritating me. I see picture after picture of these
poor unfortunate souls and every week think, "It's a shame I'm already using a picture of them." So I decided that I would love to highlight these characters and, obviously, tell you all what I really think about them. Because that's the best part of having this blog.

AMY WINEHOUSE
I apologize to any fans of Amy, but I'm going to go ahead and assume that
your admiration is for her music alone and not her bizzare eccentricities.

I don't even know where to begin. The hair. What is with the hair?
It's like Elvira mated with the B-52's. And the combination of her ginormous hair and big face with her teeny tiny little body makes her look like a human lollypop.

The tattoos. Now, I'm not a huge fan of tattoos period, but nothing is less attractive to me than a woman covered in them. And she insists on bearing them, always, along with her stomach and often much more. And the eyeliner....oi. Who is her stylist and why does he/she still have a job?

Not to mention the train wreck that is her life. The drugs, emotional breakdowns, husband in jail,
public drunkenness and nudity...she makes Britney look like Brooke White. (The friend in the picture...drag queen, or just trying to keep up with Amy's fashion? Your call.)

MARIAH CAREY

I think someone must have told her once "if you got it, flaunt it" and she
took it and ran with it...and ran...and ran...

I think she and Paris should battle it out for the self-proclaimed title of
"God's Gift to the World."

I mean, really, who stands like that?
I'm embarrassed for her, truly.

This picture sums it all up. There are no words.


LAUREN CONRAD

Okay, I'll admit...my only beef with this girl is that she is famous for NOTHING.

Becoming famous for being in a reality show simply because
you're rich and snobbish sums up everything that is wrong with this world.

Giant sunglasses...check.
Tiny dog...check.
I'm one jail stint away from being Paris Hilton!

Okay, I sat here for five minutes trying to figure out something
comical that she could be saying into her phone, and couldn't.
I would love to see if someone else can come up with something.
What do you think?