And The Oscar Goes To........

It's that time again.
The biggest night in Hollywood.
Usually the day I anticipate with glee,
the day I spend all giddy,
counting down the clock til they roll out the red carpet.

But this year.....
not so much.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
I feel like a part of me has died,
like I'm a traitor to the crown.
(Do you think they'll de-throne me?)

I've pondered my change of heart all month
and this is what I've come up with:

1. The Writers' Strike. Seriously? What else could they ruin? First they take away all the good TV and now my love of the Oscars? I think it's safe to blame all of the world's problems on the Writers Guild now, from Global Warming to Britney Spears.

2. The nominees. I can't even tell you who has
been nominated because they all starred in movies
I've never heard of. I hate that,
when the Best Picture Nominees are all
Rated R indy flicks that no one has ever heard of or cares about. Did any of these ever even make it to our theaters? I know there are some exceptions (Yay, Juno!)
but the rest just make it so hard to care.
I haven't even summoned the desire to Google the nominees.
Now you know how bad it is.

3. I CAN'T WATCH THEM LIVE!!!
You have NO IDEA what this is doing to me. Watching the Oscars DVR'd, to me, is like missing my baby's first steps
in real life and having to watch it on video.
Seriously.
What is the point?
It's all said and done.
I have to be there, up to the minute, IN THE NOW.
As luck would have it, I didn't even go to church today.
I'm home with Pukey Pukerson #4 (Yup, four people
in our house, four weeks, four cases of the flu).
And there is no family dinner tonight.
So that eliminates two of my three scheduling conflicts!
But there is NO WAY I can miss my
song practice/dress rehearsal for Stake Conference
at 6:30. It's like I'm being tested.
It's like someone's dangling the forbidden fruit
in front of me, daring me to eat it.
Just kill me now.

Oh, Oscar, why must you torture me so?