What Happens In Vegas

So you may have guessed that the reason it's taken me so long to review this movie is because I wasn't exactly blown away by it. The only part I remember laughing at was the very, very last scene; the extra, thrown-in scene after the credits have already started rolling. That was pretty funny.

The rest of the movie was _______________. (Choose one of the following words of your choice to insert there: obnoxious, laughless, cliched, annoying.) As I was watching I envisioned a group of Hollywood bigwigs sitting around a table saying, "We haven't done a romantic comedy in a while. We need a no-risk, guaranteed money-maker. Who's on the cover of Teen and YM this month? Let's get them to star in it." Then they pull out their checklist. At the top it says Formula For Romantic Comedy. Below it says:

• Gorgeous, hot-bodied "American sweetheart" female lead. Check.
• Goofy, buff, pretty-boy male lead. Check.
• Wacky, crude, comic-relief best friend. Check.
• Unrealistic, only-in-movies-would-that-ever-happen plot. Check.
• Hostility and sexual tension between two leads. Check.
• Sexual innuendos throughout, shocking humor, minimum one sex scene. Check.
  
• Scene involving male lead showing tender side with kids, resulting in female lead's changed opinion of male lead. Check.
• Dramatic argument between two leads near finale, seemingly devastating possible relationship. Check.
• Sappy, gag-inducing final scene including unconvincing sentiments and affection. Check.
  
• Cheesy joke to lighten mood. Check.

Roll Credits.

• Oh, extra add-in scene as credits roll. Must actually be funny. Check.
  

I guess what I'm saying is the movie wasn't horrible, but it was not good. If a movie is going to be that blatantly cookie-cutter, it sure as heck better have some good laughs to make up for it. This one did not. Cringes, however, were good and plenty.

And you know it says a lot if Ashton Kutcher was the less obnoxious person to watch. Seriously, Cameron, you're pretty and all, but you. bug. me. to. death. And we all know your cleavage was painted on.

Stay tuned....coming up is a positive movie review about a movie I loved...and you'll be shocked to find out what movie it is!!