THIS WEEK IN HOLLYWOOD: MOVIE EDITION

With all the buzz about new and upcoming movies, my head is swimming with thoughts and opinions about them all. I realized today it was a perfect post in the making. So here goes:

What Happens In Vegas
in theaters now

I can't wait to see this. I know it will be another cookie cutter romantic comedy, but at least it looks energetic and funny instead of limp and sappy. I'm sure it will border on obnoxious, but I'm not afraid to admit I don't care.

The Dark Knight
in theaters July 18th

This movie completely intrigues me. This new wave of Batman movies has left behind most of the corny humor that filled the old ones and taken on a darker, more intense tone. I love it. I can finally take them seriously. The latest installment, The Dark Knight, seems to live up to it's title, or at least the play on words. The few previews I've seen show The Joker, (infamously played by the late Heath Ledger, who was said to be so tormented by playing this character he stopped sleeping at night) not as a smiley-faced Jack Nicholson type, but a psychopathic freak show with a mutilated face. Basically the freakiest thing I've seen onscreen in a long time. The previews alone scare the crap out of me. I can't wait to see it.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
in theaters now

I have no idea why I am so excited to see this. Maybe it's because I have fond memories of watching the original trilogy as a family when I was young. Maybe it's because there's been so much hype about the return of Harrison Ford to the role he hasn't played in almost 20 years. I don't really know why, but I am, nonetheless. I was so pleased to see the previews looked as if they didn't stray very far from the classic format that made them so successful in the 80's. And hey, if the special effects seemed amazing back then, how great would they be now? And with the addition of Shia LeBeouf and Cate Blanchett, how can they go wrong? As long as there are no melting faces, it's sure to be a winner.

The Love Guru
in theaters June 20th

I'm already laughing just thinking about watching this. It's about time Mike Myers put something out where he wasn't wearing a cat costume or doing a voiceover for an ogre. Seriously, where did he disappear to after Austin Powers? Well, he's back, and that's all that matters. (How hilarious was he playing "Sitar Hero" on American Idol?)

Sex and the City
in theaters May 30th

How soon can I get in line to NOT see this?

Speed Racer
in theaters now

When I saw this preview I thought to myself, "That looks really weird. Even if the movie was good, I don't think I could stand watching 2 hours of that trippy, acid-laced set design." When I read the review in People, it said that not only was the movie not good--at all--but that she couldn't handle the psycho cartoon-esque set design. Hmm. Thanks, Leah. I can always count on you.

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

in theaters now

This should be really good. The first one was excellent, and the special effects on the previews for Prince Caspian look amazing. The interesting part is that I will be going into this one having no clue what it's about. (I had read The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe many, many times. Never could get past the first book, though.) I can't decide if this makes it more exciting for me, or less. I guess we'll find out.

Hancock
in theaters July 2nd

I am so undecided about this movie. I have a really hard time with movies that can't seem to make up their minds if they're a comedy or a serious action/adventure. I know a movie can be both, but there are some previews that try to show both sides, and that just kills it for me. In one scene he's tossing a beached whale back into the ocean, accidentally throwing it right into a boat, smashing it to pieces. Funny. In the next scene, he's Mr. Serious who has to decide if he's up for saving the world. Not funny. However, it stars Will Smith, which means I will be watching it.

The Happening
in theaters June 13th

Oh, M. Night, how you torment me so!! Why, oh why, would you go all "R" on me now?! We've had such a great run all these years, with The Sixth Sense, Signs, even The Village, which lost you many a fan but not this one. No, I stood by you and this is how you repay me? I guess now I'll never know what is happening, will I?

The Incredible Hulk
in theaters June 13th

I'm so confused. Didn't they just make this movie, back in 2003? What? Oh, that was just The Hulk? Oh, I see, it's completely different. Well, okay then, by all means, make your movie. I'm sure there's no way it's also about Bruce Banner, the man who turns into a giant green monster when he gets angry. What's that? Oh, it is? Oh, well, you can never have too many movies about the Incredible Hulk, right? I can't wait for 2013's release, The Green Incredible Hulk. Now that's one I'll be holding out for.

Twilight
in theaters Dec. 12th

Oops...how'd that get in there?