When did blogging become my life? Three months ago I got on my computer once a month, maybe, to check my e-mail and catch up on the family webites. Now I have to force myself to not sit down at my computer and do the stuff I actually need to do.
Why is this? Why am I so infatuated with people learning about me, and me about them? I have been mulling over this for a few days now, ever since we all started the 100 lists. And this is my theory:
Think of blogging as alcohol. (Just bear with me.) Now, I've never been drunk, but I know from movies and, well, high school, that drinking lowers your inhibitions. That's the way I see blogging. We can all finally say what we've always wanted to say but couldn't for fear of sounding stupid and having to see the look on the face of the person we are talking to.
Now we can say whatever we want (or close to it) and we come across as cool and honest, because we're bloggers! If I was talking to someone and they started spouting off 100 things about themselves, I would have thought, "How self-centered is she?" Or if they started going on and on about a very depressing trip to the therapist I would have been like, "Um, hi Debbie Downer." But I can't get enough of what people I know have to say, if it's in print. There's just something about reading it instead of hearing it. Where else could we brag about our good qualities and not sound conceited?
It sucks that this is how we are. It sucks that we feel like we can't just express what we feel. Why do we always have to preface something that is heartfelt with, "Okay, this is totally cheesy, but..."? And why do we feel we have to apologize for taking one post out of fifty to vent about our parental frustrations? I know for me I always worry people are going to think I'm all dark and depressing, but, come one, one out of fifty? And really, who isn't going through the exact same thing?
It's ironic because we're all terrified of what people will think when we do get all serious and deep, and yet, so far, on these blogs, it's been met with nothing but praise for being honest. And those are my favorites! I would take a deep post about someone's inner-most thoughts over a cute anectote any day.
So, that's my theory. Reading it back it sounds kind of all over the map, but it makes sense in my head and I am not about the re-write the whole thing. Basically, fellow bloggers, I am saying embrace your newfound vocal independence, take the opportunity to let it all out, and try not to think about the reactions on our faces as we read it.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Sunday, January 28, 2007
101 Things About Me
1. I love Taco Bell.
2. I hate gourmet food.
3. Growing up I thought high school would be exactly like it was in Grease.
4. I despise vegetables, but am learning to like broccoli.
5. Wounds and injuries make me queasy, even on t.v.
6. I loved all those WB shows like Dawson's Creek and Felicity way too much.
7. I spend about $20 a month on gum.
8. I'm learning I've lost the ability to be child-like and playful.
9. Before I had kids I slept in til 3:00 p.m.
10. I love Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream.
11. I hate jazz, opera, and classical music.
12. I truly believe my mind works differently than most others'.
13. I was first put on anti-depressants at the ripe old age of 14, only to find out later it was never approved for kids under 18.
14. I wish desperately I could afford to have tips on my nails all the time.
15. I have only ever lived in Washington state, and only in three cities.
16. I broke my arm at my cousin Marilyn's 8th birthday party trying to be cool by jumping off the top of a swing set.
17. I am very good at detail work, things that require the fine motor skills.
18. I love to clean and do it all day long, but never have a clean house.
19. I have recently been unofficially diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
20. I hate to be seen without makeup on.
21. I wish real-life was as passionate and dramatic as it is in the movies, especially the romance ones.
22. I am a good listener.
23. I went snowboarding one time....it took me an hour and half to get down the mountain, and I spent the rest of the day in the lodge drinking hot chocolate. This sentence is the same for Danyelle.
24. I am terrified of doing anything new and daring, and yet I love it.
25. When I watch movies I picture myself doing those things in real life. When I experience something new, I picture myself in a movie doing it.
26. I have cousins whose names I don't know.
27. I wish I was a better photographer.
28. I got engaged to a man I'd never met. He had no idea what I looked like. We had talked online for one week. Three months later we got married.
29. I always hated how ordinary I am, how few interesting facts there were about me.
30. In 8th grade I filled six journals.
31. I despise all things 80's, except the rock ballads.
32. I've always believed I was meant for something special.
33. I am the most insecure person I know.
34. I am very sensitive to people's feelings.
35. This is way harder than I ever thought it would be.
36. I spend most of my time worrying about what other people think of me.
37. I am the most complex person I know.
38. I've always wished my siblings and I were closer.
39. I loved to play sports and was pretty good at some of them, but then I found boys.
40. I probably could have been a straight A student, but barely graduated.
41. I used to think pickles grew in a jar.
42. I will only eat Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing.
43. I love anything that is hands-on.
43. I cannot sit still without falling asleep or getting very, very antsy.
44. My shoe size was a 7 all through high school and even after having Macy, but grew to an 8 after Payson.
45. I hate fish but will eat salmon.
46. I absolutely love shellfish.
47. I wear my wedding ring on my middle finger.
48. I am an awesome typist (is that a word?)
49. I won almost every story-writing competition I entered in elementary school.
50. My second toe is longer than my big toe on both feet. My nickname in high school was E.T.
51. I have an abnormally small cervix. (Sorry, but I find it very interesting!)
52. I will write a novel before I die.
53. My calling exhausts me.
54. People are surprised that for as much as I love movies, I hate the old ones.
55. I love new technology.
56. I love to make people laugh. It still shocks me to hear people say I'm funny. I was never known as funny growing up. Never.
57. I regret how many friendships I let fade away.
58. I have never reached my ninth month of pregnancy.
59. I have no idea what a contraction feels like.
60. I have to have chapstick on 24/7.
61. Growing up I absolutely hated that I was a brown-eyed blonde, not a blue-eyed blonde. Now I love it.
62. I get sad when I think about high school and middle school. I have no idea why.
63. Every Thursday I see Macy sit in the same pit in the same Kindergarten classroom that I sat in 22 years ago.
64. All I ever wanted was a boyfriend and to be married from the time I was 11.
65. I have never gained less than 50 lbs. during pregnancy. Maximum has been 80.
66. I couldn't give blood my senior year of high school because I weighed less than 100 lbs.
67. I have the cutest kids on the planet.
68. I was only 15 credits away from getting my AA when I got married and stopped going to school. I doubt I will ever finish it.
69. I have never been furthur east than Montana and Arizona.
70. The only wrecks I have ever been in that were my fault was crashing into my garage...twice.
71. I despise dusting and washing dishes. I love rinsing dishes.
72. I worked as a counselor with the ARC the summer before my senior year as punishment...it was one of the coolest things I've ever done.
73. I absolutely love my name and always have.
77. I hate that I wasn't invited to my Sr. Homecoming.
78. I am the happiest depressed person I know.
79. My first and only concert I have ever been to was Clay Aiken/Kelly Clarkson three years ago. I loved it.
80. When I was young I wanted to be an author, a psychiatrist, and an actress. But I always knew I'd be a mom.
81. I got five tickets in high school, two of them in one week. Never had one warning.
82. My parents considered naming me Harmony so they would always have harmony in their home.
83. I have always loved being the center of attention as long as it was positive attention.
84. I don't remember planning my wedding. I didn't care. I wanted to elope to the temple, whatever it took to get married fastest.
85. I have never seen E.T., the original Star Wars movies, and many other of the classic movies that "everyone" has seen.
86. I saw Titanic in the theater 9 times.
87. I hate math.
89. The only thing I fear almost as much as throwing up is being publicly embarassed.
90. I never swear.
91. I love clothes, especially shoes.
92. I can't wait to build my dream home with my theater and back yard that has a waterfall that pours into a pool made of rock that we can swim in.
93. I love the thought of people learning little things about me.
94. I had 4 serious boyfriends in high school, each one I was convinced I was going to marry.
95. My favorite flower is the lily, followed by the rose.
96. I can't roll my R's.
97. After 7 years of Spanish, I can read almost anything but can barely speak it.
98. I love the thought that I chose this life and I chose my anxiety and phobia.
99. I can't wait for the eternities with no fear, no physical ailments, just me and my family.
100. I love that we have an automatic best friend in Jesus Christ who knows what we feel.
101. I love being a member of this church.
2. I hate gourmet food.
3. Growing up I thought high school would be exactly like it was in Grease.
4. I despise vegetables, but am learning to like broccoli.
5. Wounds and injuries make me queasy, even on t.v.
6. I loved all those WB shows like Dawson's Creek and Felicity way too much.
7. I spend about $20 a month on gum.
8. I'm learning I've lost the ability to be child-like and playful.
9. Before I had kids I slept in til 3:00 p.m.
10. I love Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream.
11. I hate jazz, opera, and classical music.
12. I truly believe my mind works differently than most others'.
13. I was first put on anti-depressants at the ripe old age of 14, only to find out later it was never approved for kids under 18.
14. I wish desperately I could afford to have tips on my nails all the time.
15. I have only ever lived in Washington state, and only in three cities.
16. I broke my arm at my cousin Marilyn's 8th birthday party trying to be cool by jumping off the top of a swing set.
17. I am very good at detail work, things that require the fine motor skills.
18. I love to clean and do it all day long, but never have a clean house.
19. I have recently been unofficially diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
20. I hate to be seen without makeup on.
21. I wish real-life was as passionate and dramatic as it is in the movies, especially the romance ones.
22. I am a good listener.
23. I went snowboarding one time....it took me an hour and half to get down the mountain, and I spent the rest of the day in the lodge drinking hot chocolate. This sentence is the same for Danyelle.
24. I am terrified of doing anything new and daring, and yet I love it.
25. When I watch movies I picture myself doing those things in real life. When I experience something new, I picture myself in a movie doing it.
26. I have cousins whose names I don't know.
27. I wish I was a better photographer.
28. I got engaged to a man I'd never met. He had no idea what I looked like. We had talked online for one week. Three months later we got married.
29. I always hated how ordinary I am, how few interesting facts there were about me.
30. In 8th grade I filled six journals.
31. I despise all things 80's, except the rock ballads.
32. I've always believed I was meant for something special.
33. I am the most insecure person I know.
34. I am very sensitive to people's feelings.
35. This is way harder than I ever thought it would be.
36. I spend most of my time worrying about what other people think of me.
37. I am the most complex person I know.
38. I've always wished my siblings and I were closer.
39. I loved to play sports and was pretty good at some of them, but then I found boys.
40. I probably could have been a straight A student, but barely graduated.
41. I used to think pickles grew in a jar.
42. I will only eat Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing.
43. I love anything that is hands-on.
43. I cannot sit still without falling asleep or getting very, very antsy.
44. My shoe size was a 7 all through high school and even after having Macy, but grew to an 8 after Payson.
45. I hate fish but will eat salmon.
46. I absolutely love shellfish.
47. I wear my wedding ring on my middle finger.
48. I am an awesome typist (is that a word?)
49. I won almost every story-writing competition I entered in elementary school.
50. My second toe is longer than my big toe on both feet. My nickname in high school was E.T.
51. I have an abnormally small cervix. (Sorry, but I find it very interesting!)
52. I will write a novel before I die.
53. My calling exhausts me.
54. People are surprised that for as much as I love movies, I hate the old ones.
55. I love new technology.
56. I love to make people laugh. It still shocks me to hear people say I'm funny. I was never known as funny growing up. Never.
57. I regret how many friendships I let fade away.
58. I have never reached my ninth month of pregnancy.
59. I have no idea what a contraction feels like.
60. I have to have chapstick on 24/7.
61. Growing up I absolutely hated that I was a brown-eyed blonde, not a blue-eyed blonde. Now I love it.
62. I get sad when I think about high school and middle school. I have no idea why.
63. Every Thursday I see Macy sit in the same pit in the same Kindergarten classroom that I sat in 22 years ago.
64. All I ever wanted was a boyfriend and to be married from the time I was 11.
65. I have never gained less than 50 lbs. during pregnancy. Maximum has been 80.
66. I couldn't give blood my senior year of high school because I weighed less than 100 lbs.
67. I have the cutest kids on the planet.
68. I was only 15 credits away from getting my AA when I got married and stopped going to school. I doubt I will ever finish it.
69. I have never been furthur east than Montana and Arizona.
70. The only wrecks I have ever been in that were my fault was crashing into my garage...twice.
71. I despise dusting and washing dishes. I love rinsing dishes.
72. I worked as a counselor with the ARC the summer before my senior year as punishment...it was one of the coolest things I've ever done.
73. I absolutely love my name and always have.
77. I hate that I wasn't invited to my Sr. Homecoming.
78. I am the happiest depressed person I know.
79. My first and only concert I have ever been to was Clay Aiken/Kelly Clarkson three years ago. I loved it.
80. When I was young I wanted to be an author, a psychiatrist, and an actress. But I always knew I'd be a mom.
81. I got five tickets in high school, two of them in one week. Never had one warning.
82. My parents considered naming me Harmony so they would always have harmony in their home.
83. I have always loved being the center of attention as long as it was positive attention.
84. I don't remember planning my wedding. I didn't care. I wanted to elope to the temple, whatever it took to get married fastest.
85. I have never seen E.T., the original Star Wars movies, and many other of the classic movies that "everyone" has seen.
86. I saw Titanic in the theater 9 times.
87. I hate math.
89. The only thing I fear almost as much as throwing up is being publicly embarassed.
90. I never swear.
91. I love clothes, especially shoes.
92. I can't wait to build my dream home with my theater and back yard that has a waterfall that pours into a pool made of rock that we can swim in.
93. I love the thought of people learning little things about me.
94. I had 4 serious boyfriends in high school, each one I was convinced I was going to marry.
95. My favorite flower is the lily, followed by the rose.
96. I can't roll my R's.
97. After 7 years of Spanish, I can read almost anything but can barely speak it.
98. I love the thought that I chose this life and I chose my anxiety and phobia.
99. I can't wait for the eternities with no fear, no physical ailments, just me and my family.
100. I love that we have an automatic best friend in Jesus Christ who knows what we feel.
101. I love being a member of this church.
Friday, January 26, 2007
The Infected Tooth Diet
Yea! I just had to write a new post, simply because I could. Apparently it's just as everyone said, when you switch to the new blogger, you get nothing but crap for a week and then suddenly it's better. Woohoo! So, to update everyone, I went in and got prepped for my crown and got a temporary put on, it was soooo long and not fun at all but luckily they warned me it would be so, so I went prepared with my iPod and just listened to Enya so as to calm myself and just picture sailing away on the Carribean. It was kind of funny though, because I was numb from my chin to my ear to my eye, my ear phone kept falling out and I had no idea because I couldn't feel anything different. And I couldn't tell it sounded different over all that drilling. So the wonderful hygenist (assistant?) would hand it to me and ask if I wanted to put it back in. She's a nice lady.
So, of course I couldn't have just walked away with a temporary crown to wait patiently for three weeks to get my real crown. No, no, my tooth had to get infected, of course. My cheek felt weird, like when you have the flu and your skin hurts when you touch it, it felt like that, and it was hot, and my ear hurt, and it hurt to blink that eye. Not to mention my tooth, which was all swollen and hurt really bad to chew on. But dear old Dr. Rob with his dear old ability to prescribe drugs put me on an antibiotic and sent me on my merry way.
So, as I wait to be able to chew on that side once again, I am savoring the fact that I really don't want to eat anything, which fares well for my mission to get skinny. I have been doing awesome this week, as far as the eating part goes. The exercise part, not so much. When your tooth hurts with every step you take, you don't really want to go mall-walking.
Tune in next time, I may jump on the "100 Things About Me" bandwagon and do a list of my own. Those lists are just too much fun, and really, how much is there to say about my oh-so-exciting life?
So, of course I couldn't have just walked away with a temporary crown to wait patiently for three weeks to get my real crown. No, no, my tooth had to get infected, of course. My cheek felt weird, like when you have the flu and your skin hurts when you touch it, it felt like that, and it was hot, and my ear hurt, and it hurt to blink that eye. Not to mention my tooth, which was all swollen and hurt really bad to chew on. But dear old Dr. Rob with his dear old ability to prescribe drugs put me on an antibiotic and sent me on my merry way.
So, as I wait to be able to chew on that side once again, I am savoring the fact that I really don't want to eat anything, which fares well for my mission to get skinny. I have been doing awesome this week, as far as the eating part goes. The exercise part, not so much. When your tooth hurts with every step you take, you don't really want to go mall-walking.
Tune in next time, I may jump on the "100 Things About Me" bandwagon and do a list of my own. Those lists are just too much fun, and really, how much is there to say about my oh-so-exciting life?
Monday, January 22, 2007
I Secretly Wish
Sorry everyone, my computer wasn't letting me onto my blog for some reason, but I'm back.
I saw this on a scrapbook page in Simple Scrapbooks magazine and thought it would be fun to do.
I secretly wish.....
~ I was a famous actress
~ I could speak every language there is in the world, especially sign
~ Life had a soundtrack by Enya
~ I had a beautiful singing voice
~ I was in my 2nd trimester of pregnancy (no, I'm not pregnant.)
~ I was a dancer
~ I had pretty toes that my husband wouldn't make fun of
~ I was taller
~ Taking a mid-day nap was mandatory, and no one could judge me for it
~ They discovered that it's actually sugar that's good for you, not Splenda
~ I was more self-confident, especially as a mother and a friend
~ I lived in a beach hut on the shores of Kauai
~ My kids will be popular but at the same time not care that they are
~ I didn't have to take anti-depressants for the rest of my life
~ I could turn invisible at will
~ I was everybody's best friend
~ I could play the piano
~ No one ever had to be afraid
~ Bill only had to work half day
~ We were all incapable of judging each other
~ I had a theater in my house
~ When we reach the here-after there will be a question/answer period
~ I could just think about being showered and it would be done
~ I had the ability but even more importantly the desire to cook
~ My shortcomings as a mother would have no effect on my kids whatsoever
~ I drove a brand new SUV
~ Pop was water, and vice versa
~ I had a maid
~ I had a ten second delay for censoring purposes
~ I could make someone's life easier and happier
~ I had a time machine
~ I could eat out for every meal
~ I had paid more attention in school
~ I had more "me" time
~ That I was still as naturally blonde as I was in high school
~ That people will find this list interesting
I saw this on a scrapbook page in Simple Scrapbooks magazine and thought it would be fun to do.
I secretly wish.....
~ I was a famous actress
~ I could speak every language there is in the world, especially sign
~ Life had a soundtrack by Enya
~ I had a beautiful singing voice
~ I was in my 2nd trimester of pregnancy (no, I'm not pregnant.)
~ I was a dancer
~ I had pretty toes that my husband wouldn't make fun of
~ I was taller
~ Taking a mid-day nap was mandatory, and no one could judge me for it
~ They discovered that it's actually sugar that's good for you, not Splenda
~ I was more self-confident, especially as a mother and a friend
~ I lived in a beach hut on the shores of Kauai
~ My kids will be popular but at the same time not care that they are
~ I didn't have to take anti-depressants for the rest of my life
~ I could turn invisible at will
~ I was everybody's best friend
~ I could play the piano
~ No one ever had to be afraid
~ Bill only had to work half day
~ We were all incapable of judging each other
~ I had a theater in my house
~ When we reach the here-after there will be a question/answer period
~ I could just think about being showered and it would be done
~ I had the ability but even more importantly the desire to cook
~ My shortcomings as a mother would have no effect on my kids whatsoever
~ I drove a brand new SUV
~ Pop was water, and vice versa
~ I had a maid
~ I had a ten second delay for censoring purposes
~ I could make someone's life easier and happier
~ I had a time machine
~ I could eat out for every meal
~ I had paid more attention in school
~ I had more "me" time
~ That I was still as naturally blonde as I was in high school
~ That people will find this list interesting
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Listen To Your Dentist
I've had this cracked tooth for about four years or so now, and I've learned how to chew on it without putting that much pressure on it. So it hasn't bothered me at all unless I suddenly got something hard right there without knowing it and bit down and it would hurt so bad I would want to cry. But this happened so rarely, and the cost of getting it fixed was more than our humble little checking account could handle, so, I put it off. And off. And off. Every six months at my check-ups, my dentist would say, "You know, we really ought to fix that cracked tooth." And I'd say, "I know, I know, soon." And he'd submit it my insurance to have it approved and find out how much they would cover and how much I'd have to pay. Then I'd get a statement in the mail from my insurance that said, "You're too poor to get this tooth fixed" or something to that effect. So another six months would go by, the submission and permission from my insurance would expire, and we'd start back over.
Who knew you should do what your dentist says?
Last night I was enjoying my low-cal Smart Pop Kettle Corn, and just as I was thinking, "Look at you, eating all healthy" CRACK! A sneaky little un-popped kernel slipped right between the cracked tooth and the tooth above it and poor unsuspecting me crunched right down. I literally heard the crack, and my tooth was throbbing.
After I stopped screaming like a little girl, I quickly felt it with my tongue. Nothing different. Odd, I thought, I must have just worsened the crack. So, the pig that I am, the second the throbbing began to lessen somewhat, I dug out another handful of popcorn (I had to eat it before it got cold and stale!) and chewed very carefully on my right side so as not to worsen the pain or add stress to my cracked tooth. Then something sneaky and hard got me on the right side, only this time it was so hard I knew it couldn't be a kernel. Sure enough, I spat out a chunk of tooth. Again, I felt that tooth with my tongue and this time, there was a gaping hole. I have no idea why it took a minute for the piece to actually fall off, but it did, and the only good part about it was the throbbing stopped.
I have always been totally freaked out and disgusted by broken teeth or stubby teeth in my mouth, so I was not a happy camper. And if I touched it with my tongue at all, it hit a nerve and sent a shock wave through my mouth. I was terrified to eat or drink anything, not knowing what would zap that nerve.
I managed to get a drink that night, eat breakfast and brush my teeth (but not that one) with minimal pain and discomfort, and the dentist got me in at eleven to look at it and take X-Rays. Luckily, they still just needed to do the crown they were originally planning on when the tooth was just cracked. I was so relieved, I had been so worried this break would mean a more extensive and expensive procedure. But all they had time to do today was cover it with this temporary protective stuff to protect the nerve and spare me some pain, so I have to go back on Monday to get the crown. So until then I'm stuck with this stubby piece of a tooth that still hurts and I can't bare to touch with my tongue. Yuck.
The most humbling part of the whole thing was, this morning, as I was thinking about writing about this on my blog, this perfect title popped into my head: "Listen To Your Dentist." I thought it was cute. Then-get this-I get to my dentist's office and sit in the waiting room and directly across the room from me, hanging on the wall, staring down at me was poster that said, in bold letters: Listen To Your Dentist, with a picture of a dentist pointing threateningly at me. I couldn't believe it! Boy did I learn my lesson. From now on, I will listen to my dentist, even if it means selling our house to get a cracked tooth fixed.
Who knew you should do what your dentist says?
Last night I was enjoying my low-cal Smart Pop Kettle Corn, and just as I was thinking, "Look at you, eating all healthy" CRACK! A sneaky little un-popped kernel slipped right between the cracked tooth and the tooth above it and poor unsuspecting me crunched right down. I literally heard the crack, and my tooth was throbbing.
After I stopped screaming like a little girl, I quickly felt it with my tongue. Nothing different. Odd, I thought, I must have just worsened the crack. So, the pig that I am, the second the throbbing began to lessen somewhat, I dug out another handful of popcorn (I had to eat it before it got cold and stale!) and chewed very carefully on my right side so as not to worsen the pain or add stress to my cracked tooth. Then something sneaky and hard got me on the right side, only this time it was so hard I knew it couldn't be a kernel. Sure enough, I spat out a chunk of tooth. Again, I felt that tooth with my tongue and this time, there was a gaping hole. I have no idea why it took a minute for the piece to actually fall off, but it did, and the only good part about it was the throbbing stopped.
I have always been totally freaked out and disgusted by broken teeth or stubby teeth in my mouth, so I was not a happy camper. And if I touched it with my tongue at all, it hit a nerve and sent a shock wave through my mouth. I was terrified to eat or drink anything, not knowing what would zap that nerve.
I managed to get a drink that night, eat breakfast and brush my teeth (but not that one) with minimal pain and discomfort, and the dentist got me in at eleven to look at it and take X-Rays. Luckily, they still just needed to do the crown they were originally planning on when the tooth was just cracked. I was so relieved, I had been so worried this break would mean a more extensive and expensive procedure. But all they had time to do today was cover it with this temporary protective stuff to protect the nerve and spare me some pain, so I have to go back on Monday to get the crown. So until then I'm stuck with this stubby piece of a tooth that still hurts and I can't bare to touch with my tongue. Yuck.
The most humbling part of the whole thing was, this morning, as I was thinking about writing about this on my blog, this perfect title popped into my head: "Listen To Your Dentist." I thought it was cute. Then-get this-I get to my dentist's office and sit in the waiting room and directly across the room from me, hanging on the wall, staring down at me was poster that said, in bold letters: Listen To Your Dentist, with a picture of a dentist pointing threateningly at me. I couldn't believe it! Boy did I learn my lesson. From now on, I will listen to my dentist, even if it means selling our house to get a cracked tooth fixed.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Fatty No More
Well, today begins the 5ooth attempt to lose this weight. I am so determined (I know, I've never said that before, right?) this time. I have joined another Biggest Loser contest, (or as Bill refers to it, The Fatties) and although the fee to join was less this time, the price I had to pay to join was much bigger: weighing myself in front of other people. Yup. Me, on a scale, with four sets of eyes watching the numbers go up and up and up. It was like living out my worst nightmare, although, since there was no vomit involved, I suppose it can't really be called my worst nightmare.
Anyway, it was worth it because I am soooo motivated and I am so gonna win! Next time you see me say goodbye to my fat rolls because they aren't going to be around much longer. I have become an exercising, dieting machine, my friend. And I have the added motivation of my high school reunion this summer, and I always knew I'd lose the weight before then, or I'm not going. So since it's already coming off for sure, I may as well get paid for doing it, right? :)
So America, next time you see me I'll be 50 lbs. lighter and you won't even recognize me. (That was my best Biggest Loser impersonation.)
Anyway, it was worth it because I am soooo motivated and I am so gonna win! Next time you see me say goodbye to my fat rolls because they aren't going to be around much longer. I have become an exercising, dieting machine, my friend. And I have the added motivation of my high school reunion this summer, and I always knew I'd lose the weight before then, or I'm not going. So since it's already coming off for sure, I may as well get paid for doing it, right? :)
So America, next time you see me I'll be 50 lbs. lighter and you won't even recognize me. (That was my best Biggest Loser impersonation.)
Thursday, January 11, 2007
On A Serious Note....
I hate to get all serious and stuff, but I think it's no secret that I've been struggling lately, hence my last post. Today Macy and I went to her therapist (most of you know about the whole eyelash/eyebrow pulling issue she has) and her therapist told me the last thing every mother wants to hear: that my anxieties, no matter how well I mask them, are affecting Macy and causing her anxiety. Let me tell you, I'm not a crier, and I was fighting the tears. I cannot tell you the guilt it gave me. But.......
There is a silver lining. It was totally the wake-up call I needed. I realized that so much of the problems I have been having with Macy and my kids in general is things I need to change about myself. It was sort of something I knew all along, but this was the slap in the face that woke me up to it, made me realize it I just need to suck it up and make these changes.
I know it's going to be hard, but I know ultimately it will make my life, and more importantly, my kids' lives so much better.
I'm still planning on buying Love and Logic, but a lot of what I need to change I already know.
It's just the changing part that's so scary.
Anyway, basically her therapist told me that she wanted to start focusing less on Macy and more on me, because we can't help Macy's anxieties until we fix mine. So now Macy's therapist is my therapist. That was a tad unexpected. But I'm hopeful. I know I need this.
Sorry to get so heavy and deep on you all, but life's not always giggles and jokes, right?
So, send good thoughts my way that I can do this, because change has never been easy for me.
There is a silver lining. It was totally the wake-up call I needed. I realized that so much of the problems I have been having with Macy and my kids in general is things I need to change about myself. It was sort of something I knew all along, but this was the slap in the face that woke me up to it, made me realize it I just need to suck it up and make these changes.
I know it's going to be hard, but I know ultimately it will make my life, and more importantly, my kids' lives so much better.
I'm still planning on buying Love and Logic, but a lot of what I need to change I already know.
It's just the changing part that's so scary.
Anyway, basically her therapist told me that she wanted to start focusing less on Macy and more on me, because we can't help Macy's anxieties until we fix mine. So now Macy's therapist is my therapist. That was a tad unexpected. But I'm hopeful. I know I need this.
Sorry to get so heavy and deep on you all, but life's not always giggles and jokes, right?
So, send good thoughts my way that I can do this, because change has never been easy for me.
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